We all say that, right? And it’s true! There just really aren’t enough hours in the day for all the tasks we have to do, fun we need to have, chores that truly have to be done, and sleep (sleep?).
Right now, my bed is piled with books that I am adding to my library for Emmie. These are books that I have read and loved (or maybe even hated in a few cases). For about 2/3 of them, I am trying to write little notes about why they were important to me, the things no one else could guess. Not just “I liked it,” but “This was in the horse phase of my life and I totally remember reading it during our rainy Yosemite vacation.” I have no idea if I’ll have enough time to get all the notes done. My dad is currently driving back from Reno with five freaking more boxes. I liked to read.
I also am trying to work on journals for both Emmie and Peter, with things I hope they remember. There is no possible way for me to write down every memory or story I want Emmie to know, so I’m just doing my best. Poor Peter has a lot of instruction, haha 🙂
On top of those very important things, I also need to take care of all kinds of paperwork, including the very very important paperwork for the clinical trial I desperately hope to get into. No procrastinating!
Oh, and you guys want more blog stuff? I totally do too, trust me. There is SO much I want to tell you. I think we are going to bite the bullet and buy a new laptop. Both of our laptops are so old that the batteries are literally bursting out of the computers (super safe, I’m positive), cannot be used as ACTUALLY laptops, and take forever to do anything. Our desktop is similarly sad. We haven’t bought a new computer in almost a decade, which makes everything basically a fossil in tech land. If we got a new laptop, I could write while in bed, which currently is the only consistent comfortable/pain-free place for me. Peter could also shave hours off of his work tasks, hours he currently really does not have to waste staring at a frozen screen. So yeah, that might be on the agenda.
Thanks for all the love for the video. Wasn’t it all just wonderful? I’m honestly still trying to process it all. So incredible.
Here’s the crazy part I was thinking as I was watching it: We ALL have that in us. We all are wonderful, loving, capable people who can inspire love and joy in others. The only reason people are making videos for me is because I am dying of cancer and this forces people to truly look at me. Think about all of YOUR friends. Don’t you know some really, truly wonderful people? I certainly do (this video is proof!). But we don’t make videos of them because we have time. Because we are not being forced to face the reality that we all will die someday. Some might be a sudden tragedy and we won’t have the chance for any videos until the memorial. Some might not be for another 30, 40, 50, even 60 plus years! At some point, there might be people like my husband’s grandmother, who has essentially lost most of her friends already and is ready to go join them. None of us know.
So take the moments we DO have. Maybe you can’t make a beautiful, elaborate flash mob video, but you can take a moment to tell your friends why they are amazing people, why they matter. Before all this shit happened, I was just a normal person, trying to make it day to day like everyone else. I was still me, but not flash-mob-worthy me.
Let’s make everyone feel flash-mob-worthy, even if you only write down their incredible qualities in a card.