OK, so maybe I’ve never been “normal” (who is? What is normal?), but today I feel like myself again for the first time in at least a month.
The docs told me that I would feel “loopy” if my pain meds and pain were at different levels (i.e., I was over medicated for my pain), and I’m starting to think that has been true for the past month-ish. Over the past week and a half, I’ve been reducing my morphine down from 120 mg in the day and 150 mg at night, to 30mg in the day and night. YOU GUYS. The difference is stark. I no longer “pause” out (falling asleep mid-anything, literally even chewing or swallowing), I have energy, I can sit with something for more than a few minutes (I felt like I understood ADHD for a bit there), and I just feel normal. Not even the depression I had felt creeping up on me the past few days!
I don’t have too much more to say, other than to sing from the rooftops about this new evolution. I even feel like I could go back to work in the very near future, hallelujah! I’m planning our garden now and am actually *excited* about it (I couldn’t rally enthusiasm for much of anything).
YOU GUYS. I’m jut SOOOOO happy! Hopefully I can wean down even more, like back to 15 mg or maybe even ZERO if the meds are working the way I hope they are! Pray that everything keeps going this well!