I haven’t written every day (like I had hoped) because I’ve been back at work again this week. Like I’ve written before, it’s just so nice to have a little sense of what our normal routine used to be, and to reclaim a little piece of my identity pre-cancer.
I love working with kids because the kids don’t know, and frankly, they don’t care. Most of the kids I work with are too young to understand, and don’t have the language to understand anyway (hence why I’m working with them in the first place!). I’m amazed, too, at how casually they’ve all taken the enormous band-aid on my forehead. Some of these are the same kids who will OBSESS over a little scratch on my hand or a torn cuticle. Literally, some of them might point to it every five minutes and say “owie.” And yet most of them either utterly ignore the bandage, or else accept it after I tell them I have an owie and point to it. And then they never mention it again!
All the kids care about is what game they’re going to play and if we are having fun. I love it. I hadn’t really thought about it that much, but I imagine in some ways that will be another blessing our little girl brings to us. She’s not going to care what we are going through; she’s going to want FOOD and want it NOW. Or want to be CHANGED and NOW. Etc., ad nauseum, I’m sure. No doubt that will be hard, since it’s hard enough to please such a demanding tyrant when you are on your A-game, let alone dealing with the aftermath of cancer and surgery.
Today’s is the pre-op appointment with the ENT, where we’ll discuss the actual surgery and I get to ask my own questions. Friends, ALWAYS HAVE QUESTIONS. Don’t rely on Dr. Google, but do consult him so you aren’t blindsided by information you could have prepared for. And Asking Dr. Google can also help inform questions too. For example, there are many different kinds (levels) of neck dissections. I’m smart enough to understand many of the words included in descriptions of these levels (thank you, anatomy!!!), and I frankly would like to know what level of dissection we are looking at so I can understand my surgery and recovery a little better. But I never would have known to ask about levels of neck dissection without a quick consult to Dr. Google.
On a MUCH more fun note, I also will have my rescheduled work shower today during lunch. Even though all this cancer crap threw our best-laid-plans for a loop (enjoying the expert mixing of metaphors?), Jen, my work friend planning the shindig, has been a trooper and is holding this thing for me, come hell-or-high-water. It will be nice to have a little celebration before I head to the ENT appointment (which is guaranteed to make me cry, just because I cry after pretty much every non-baby appointment, no matter the news shared).
All right, that’s it for this quick-ish post for the morning. I have to get showered and get going with my “normal” life!