I’m not going to write much tonight because I really need to get to bed.
Peter and I have both worked all or most of this week, which I think has been good, overall. It was nice to get back to some sense of “normal,” if only so I could remember and imagine a life outside of cancer, once this is all over. Funny how fast an entire life view can shift in a few weeks.
I’ve been sharing the news with the families I work with, mainly because I would want to know if something like this was happening to them. I managed it without any breakdowns, and only misty eyes a few times, when the parents got misty themselves.
There have been no new doctor’s appointments this week, which is unusual, just the tour of the hospital we had scheduled long ago to find out where to go when we’re in labor. Not much sunk in from the tour, honestly. I had a pretty good emotional breakdown during the paperwork portion (luckily, we were sitting in the back row and most people had left), when I had to answer the question: “What are you most worried about with parenting?” and my answer was “Surviving.” I was also a little bit bitter and jealous that all these other happy couples got to go through this experience with only the worry of labor pain in their future.
However, one thing that made me cry at the time also gave me some strength. I was thinking “Next time we do this, we won’t have this crappy cancer thing to think about and we will just be concentrating on our new little baby. That will be awesome.”
I also want to write about all of the AMAZING things that have happened over the past week, including my beyond-incredible shower, the wonderful baby gifts that arrive and brighten our evenings, and the other goodies, notes and things that have carried us through, but I don’t have time to give those the space they deserve right now. So I think I’ll post pictures and write more about them over the weekend (which will be busy with more wonderful things, like getting together with various and sundry friends).
I’ll also give an update on how to get the handy-dandy spreadsheet of ways you can help us, along with the go-to gal’s contact info if you do want to help out.
I’m excited about my new CaringBridge site, if only because it means I don’t have to manage an ever-growing email list anymore! Please leave comments and hopefully this will become a great community of support for everyone!